I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
