It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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