Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
