I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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