R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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