I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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