You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
