it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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