no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
