Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
