she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
