Duck Duck Cougar?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
