Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
