Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
