Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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