Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
