I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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