He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
