i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
