It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
