ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
