apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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