that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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