i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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