I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
