you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
