she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
