where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I want her autograph on my taint
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
