When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize