I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
