pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
