I wanna passion pit in your ass
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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