im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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