we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
