Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
