the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's blow job season.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
