Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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