just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
