you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
