Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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