She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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