Yo dont text me then not text me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
