i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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