Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
