oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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