I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
