you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
