I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize