Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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