did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
