If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
