i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
