My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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