Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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