That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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