Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.

Fav 12 3120 985
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(253): View more from Washington

Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.

Fav 40 6836 1956
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf

Fav 44 15607 1981
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(312): View more from Illinois

You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles

Fav 9 4662 1482
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(661): View more from California

We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.

Fav 22 1058 4006
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(573): View more from Missouri

You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.

Fav 7 2151 1145
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny

Fav 9 2242 1248
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'

Fav 1 36 4
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL

Fav 0 40 7
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