She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
