i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
