she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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